what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
