You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
