I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
