i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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