his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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