i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
