WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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