I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
