i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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