he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
