I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
