Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
