I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
