I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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