Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
