so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
