If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
