Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i think my cat just said my name.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
