and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
In America we eat man semen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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