Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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