swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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