Screwed.edu
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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