oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
