i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
