my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
