Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
