I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
