Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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