K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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