I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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