Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize