omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize