I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
