i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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