I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
