By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
