By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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