It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize