no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
