I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
