wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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