I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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