We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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