just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
