I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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