I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
