I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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