We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
