Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
