Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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