But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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