i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
where am i from again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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