He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
