The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
