Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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