Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
