Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
