I just threw up on my dentist
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
