As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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