In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You've changed since you got that strap on
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
