the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish my penis had a tongue
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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