hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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